Pedal to the Metal!

S0 much is going on in my life lately, and I honestly don't know how to handle it all. I have school, a job, my boyfriend, family, and so called 'friends'. I'm learning a lot about people and how things change in a blink of an eye. I haven't been myself lately, and I feel as though I'm trying to see what another side is like, but it's not really working out for me at all. I have distanced myself from my One and Only TRUE best friend and Father, God. This blog is about me being honest and throwing it all out there because a computer screen is the only thing I feel like I can let it all out too.


I don't remember the last time I said a prayer. I have thought about praying, but I assumed that it wouldn't even matter because of where I am right now in my life. I don't remember the last time I looked in my Bible, or the last time it moved from my desk in my room. I have forgot my Bible both times that I have went home to visit. My devotional sits on my desk as well, collecting dust. I'm separated from God right now, and I don't even know how it started.


I've never been a follower, nor will I ever be one, especially of people who sin because it's the thing to do.  However, I have been sinning and it seems as though I have become a follower even though I'm not trying to impress anyone in particular.


I'm pretty emotional, which is not normal. I cry over stupid stuff even when I'm not suppose to be hormonal. School stresses me out! Two of my classes are really rigorous and I'm to the point of wanting to give up. I'm not failing, but I'm not where I want my grades in those two to be. My personal relationship that I have been in for the past 20 months is struggling, and I don't know what to do about it. It's definitely been an uphill battle since August. We're not agreeing on quite a few things and so with that we argue pretty much every weekend over the same thing. I'm becoming a "jealous" person, and I hate to admit that because I have NEVER been like that. I don't like when my boyfriend wants to go out without me, even though I should have enough trust in him to allow him to do what he wants. 


One of the girls that has been my best friend for 11 years and one that I didn't go a day without talking to, we rarely speak. I also hear a lot about certain things that I don't like to hear that she is doing. I just want our relationship back but it's never going to be the same.


...The list seriously goes on and on.


I NEED to get back to my "Happy Place" that I was in when I was in church and in my Bible on the daily. I need to get back to having fun, yet doing things that weren't crazy and "Un-Christian-Like". I'm not on drugs and I don't drink, but yet I feel so far away from God that it's scary. I believe, all these things that are going on in my life right now are His way of telling me to straighten up. When I need help He is the one I need to seek, not everyone else's opinion. He is the ONE person that will NEVER let me down. He has blessed me with so much and I have thanked Him for all of that in so long. For those of you reading this, I need some prayer. I want to get back to where I was and be different. I want my relationships (with God, my boyfriend, family, and friends) to go back to how they were and continue growing. I have learned a lesson, and it's time I stop being so blind and act out on it. I know what the problem is and I'm putting the "pedal to the metal" in getting things right again!

Just STUFF

I know it has been awhile since I have last posted, and I am very aware that I am not keeping my word as to blogging everyday.  It's just that life seems to get in, and I stay really busy.  These aren't excuses, just explanations.  However, since August 19th many things have been going on and my brain is going crazy!  First of all I got a job at Red Lobster, and I love it! I really cannot complain about it at all! Secondly, I started my Sophomore year of college, and that too is going well.  I love all my classes and my professors are great; especially my Stats and Biology prof.  Anywho, it hasn't been all fun and games though; I am working through a lot of things.

I haven't given into the "college girl lifestyle" that most people I know how given into, and I don't plan on it.  I still stay strong to my beliefs and do what I feel is right.  I love college and don't get me wrong, I love to have a good time, but "good times" don't always need to involve alcohol and chaos.  Matt and I are still doing really well, but I am trying to work through some things about us with myself.  I know I shouldn't keep certain things about our relationship just to myself, but it will come out when I feel the need to tell him.

The Devil has really been on me this past weekend (Labor Day) and throughout this week.  Granted, he's not on me about school, but he is on me about what I want in life, and he's messing with my feelings.  I had an amazing weekend in Okeechobee this past Labor Day weekend and he's definitely using that against me.  I know the simple thing to do is just pray about, but I feel like I can't talk to God about this right now because I know what His answer is going to be.  I haven't been in His word, I haven't continuously been in church like I should, and I sin every day like everyone else.  Even though these are things I know everyone struggles with, I'm just trying to work through them.

As you read and as I type I am working through my head what I am going to say to Him tonight, and what I want to be done about all the confusion I am currently going through.  Since I have graduated high school the people I cared about the most and had so much time and feelings invested in have just left.  God is showing me a lot about life and a lot about my discipline and what I can handle; I just don't know how to go about this one.

So, if you're reading this, send up a prayer for me tonight.  I love when people pray for me, and I don't take the "I'll pray for you" offensively.  I need prayer and I accept that! Our God is such a powerful God that I know He already knows what is going to happen, and that I just need to have faith in Him; but sometimes it just seems so hard, and the Devil doesn't make it any better!

New Beginnings!

It's no University of Alabama, or Tuscaloosa for that matter, but UCF in Orlando will have to do!  I can't believe I'm already starting my Sophomore year of college!! SO many things have changed in my life and I have met so many new people that are in my life to stay!  I just moved into my new apartment on the 19th and man I never knew something could be so much work! I am enjoying everything so far and hope it stays that way!


I start working tomorrow at Red Lobster, and I'm pretty excited about that! It's nice to know you have a secured job and will have some income of your own coming in. I'm the "grown up" life so it's time to start paying some rent and maybe some other things off as well!


God has been continually blessing me with some amazing things in my life and without Him I don't know what I would be doing right now.  Finances has become an issue and right when I start to stress out he grants me with more money than I would have ever expected! It's SO awesome how He works and how He makes sure that we know that He is always here!


I don't start classes until next Monday (29th), so I'm getting an extra week of summer, unlike all my roommates ;) BUTTT I do have to work/train so I don't know if that counts.  I am REALLY excited about this semester and I have really high goals for myself that I'm hoping I can achieve.  


I will start blogging probably every day again, so stay tuned.
Love you guys!
Roll Tide & GO KNIGHTS! ;)

My Bathroom :P

Desk Area

Dresser

Kitchen - more sunflower stuff to come!

Dining Area

Living Room - MORE safari to come!

**My apartment. I will post pics of my bedding later - it's not in yet! & of course I will have some pics of Pebbles and Bam Bam when they move in next weekend :D

He's Sovereign Still

This week I have been battling many feelings and not really talking about them much, because I feel as though I need to handle them with God.  Like many this week is a hard one to come by because of what we all know it reminds us of - the death of three amazing boys that will never be forgotten and one of their birthdays is today.  Not only that but I have been fighting the reasons of not going to Tallahassee this weekend and going.


I am growing in Christ, and I learn new things each and every day from many amazing and Christian people - there is NO doubt in my mind why I have them in my life.  He knows I have been planning on going to Tally for nearly a month now and it has been riding my mind about what He thinks about it.  All sorts of things came up this week about why I shouldn't go - my ride there suddenly wasn't able to go, Matt's Aunt is in the hospital fighting lung cancer, there is no girls going, etc.  SO many things were telling me that it's not meant for me to go; and then today happened...


When I woke up this morning I knew we weren't going to end up going, but I felt like I wanted to go; and the only reason why is because I would finally get to see my best friend Morgan from Alabama! I haven't seen her since December and I miss her so much, it's not even funny! Well, I'm going and I'm leaving tomorrow.


I feel as though I'm going to prove a point that I want to prove and I'm going to stick with Jesus on this one.  There is no doubt about it that I will be around alcohol and bad language, but I don't have to take part in it and I won't.  I'm going to see someone I love and someone that understands my morals of why I don't do certain things.  I feel as though this is going to be a test, and I'm not going to fail.  I don't give into temptation very easily, and this weekend will be no different.  I am going to have fun, but I'm going to have fun the way I feel I am supposed to be having fun and the way Jesus wants me to have fun.  


It's still weighing on my heart that I shouldn't even be around all this sinful nature, and I know that, but for whatever reason I'm being told to go.  The way to speak and teach lost people is to be around them for a little while.  I will only be there until Sunday, and I can do a lot in that many days.


I'm going to stay strong and "stick to my guns" and I really don't care what people think about it!

2 Years. . .

Two years ago, on this day, I was at Beach Retreat and trying to get my Saturday morning started with some fun in the sun and some JESUS.  That all came to end quite early when I heard that three really amazing people, one being my cousin, died in a car accident down in Keys.  I was in total shock along with all the other people I know with me.  Carson Williams, Devon Venables, & Josh "2" Creasman were all best friends and all died on the same day.  As I look back on it now, I was VERY sad and heartbroken at what had happened, and I started to think of the last thing I said to all three of them.  To be honest, I wasn't as close as many others were to them, but I still loved them and cared about them.


You know how they say good things usually come out of bad things?  Well, this was definitely true here!  With 200+ kids praying for their families in Panama City that weekend, amazing this were to come.  People were saved and people were asking God questions and looking for any type of answer possible!  When people's lives change for our maker, there is nothing greater than that!


These three boys have made the biggest impact on a community that I have ever seen in my life!  SO many people came to support the families of these three, and the families knew they had the support; and the support hasn't ended.


It's been two years and you would think they were still with us sometimes.  Carson, Devon, & 2 are always brought up in conversations and talked about everyday.  We all know that they are looking down on us and making sure we are all going to be safe.  They aren't the only three though.  God has fulfilled a reassurance and a peacefulness within us that allows us to make it through our everyday lives without them here.  He is the reason why we are okay.  He is the reason people have the hope of seeing their faces again.  He is the reason for a reason.  He is GOD.  


I cherish every moment I have with people, because you never know if that will be their last day.  Being young you tend to think you're invincible and that you will live until your 105, but that isn't always the case.  Everyone should know that there is something WAYYY better than this life.  Something you have to work for to receive, but it the ultimate gift.  Something that I will have one day, and that is to meet my Maker and walk through the gates of Heaven to live with Him eternally.


On this day and for the rest of the week and whenever you feel the need to, send up a prayer for the families of the boys.  Prayer does help, and without it we wouldn't be able to make it through these days.


**Boys, I miss you so much and my prayer is that you are comforting your families and letting them know that you may not visibly be here, but your here in spirit watching over us.  You guys are amazing people and I can't wait till the day when I get to see your smiling faces again; I miss those smiles.  I love you <333 

07.31.11

FIRST OFF:  It's SHARK WEEK!!! AHHH<3 That's one thing that made today gooooood.

SECONDLY:  I got to see my AMAZING and HANDSOME nephew, Levi, today!  Looking at him is seriously like looking at an angel from Heaven.  I could look at him ALL day!

THIRD:  The server manager from Red Lobster in Orlando called me back today, and said her GM would like to meet with me and talk some things over!  I am REALLY excited about this because I would love to go ahead and get a job before I get to Orlando, instead of stressing over finding one during school.  THIS GIRL HAS TO PAY SOME RENT! lol...God is truly blessing me, and I continue to pray that He puts me where He wants me to be.

FOURTH:  This one isn't so good, especially compared to the other three...unfortunately.  Starting last night, I feel as though God is truly testing my patience and how bad/serious I am about "sticking to my guns".  I had a not so good night, and today hasn't been much better.  My patience is pretty much shot, and I think God is trying to tell me some things.  

Last night my blog was about having faith in God no matter what.  His way is always the right way no matter what you think of the situation; and He's pushing that on me today.  I have had no patience, and while going through pretty much the whole afternoon in a bad and groggy mood, the back of my head is whispering to pray and ask God to help.  To be honest I have yet to do this, but we will be getting down to business shortly!  God knows I'm a stubborn person and He knows He nearly has to beat my head against the wall to get me to hear Him, but He doesn't mind.  I have faith, and I'm going to take all my anxieties to Him!

FIFTH:  I REALLY want to travel.  It's been on my mind today A LOT and I think it's because it's Shark Week and I keep seeing some of the places I want to go visit! I know, how ironic that people have been killed by Great Whites, but it's all good ;)  Here's the places in the States that I would LOVE to go to:

CALIFORNIA!-

All the sun, beach, and beauty seems to be here; along with a TON of celebrities! I would love to take a vacation here and see what it is truly like in Cali<3

COLORADO!-

Oh, Colorado!  My parents have been here, and actually are considering owning a home here someday!  They LOVED it, and I would love to experience it as well.  I want to learn how to snowboard, so I think this would be the PERFECT place to learn how!

NYC!-

NYC during Christmas time! OMG! I have seen pictures and I know many people who have went during the holiday season, and I am so jealous!

Those are just some of the places I would love to visit one day!  I have MANY more out of the country, but we will get to that another time ;)  I hope everything has a blessed evening, love y'all! <3

Faith!

Even if someone is not familiar with anything from the Bible they do know that people put their faith in God; or that's what they are supposed to do.  For whatever reason this is one of the hardest things for Christians to do, and God says throughout the Bible why this is so.

These days the world has MANY influences, too many to count actually.  To name a few: Alcohol, Drugs, Sex, Pregnancies, Homosexuality, etc.  Everyday someone is faced with at least one if not more than one of these.  I am no different, but I do know who I can go to for help and where I can find help. . .GOD.

Without Him I would be a lost cause, I'm not even kidding.  He has taught me so much and helped me through so many things in my life, that without Him I probably wouldn't have been able to make it through.  This strength and this whole knowing where I can find help stems from the faith that I have in God.  I'm not saying I don't question some things about what is going on with my life, but I HAVE to have faith that God knows what He's doing.

Hebrews Chapter 11 is the PERFECT chapter for learning what faith is all about and how God has helped so many people through faith.  Hebrews 1:1 says, "NOW FAITH is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see".  I can't think of a better definition on what faith is, and where did I find this? The BIBLE, this thing has EVERYTHING! ;)

Most will say that God only helps the "goody goods" and the people that "never do anything wrong", and I beg to differ.  First of all, it is VERY hard for someone to be a "goody good" all the time! That takes effort and FAITH.  Secondly, there isn't a person on this Earth that doesn't do anything wrong, and if there is they need a serious reality check and I'm sure God would love to give them one.  Christians aren't perfect people, and we aren't supposed to be.  However, we are supposed to STRIVE to be PERFECT and the only thing perfect is God.  So, we strive to be more and more like Him each and every day, and TRUST me we FAIL.  But that is where faith steps in.

Hebrews 11 tells you about SOME of the people God has helped through faith.  For example, Cain killed his brother Abel but even though he died, God STILL made considered him a righteous man and made sure that his righteousness lived on.  One of the BIG stories of faith is the story of the prostitute, Rahab, who by FAITH welcomed spies into her home who were from God, was saved and not killed like all the others who were disobedient in Jericho.  This right here shows that God just doesn't help out "goody goods".

I hope that you have faith in Him and that you understand that without Him, you wouldn't even be here today.  But not only this I hope you have so much faith in Him that you would want to give your life up to Him as He did for you and everyone on this planet.  This means excepting Him as your Lord and Savior and following what He asks you to do.  This also calls for you to follow in believers baptism so you can be SAVED.  God is coming back one of these days, and no one will ever know the day or the hour, not even the angels in Heaven know!  And when this happens, I hope you're ready because you will be judge, and He is the ULTIMATE judge and He will either welcome you into the gates of Heaven, or say "Away from me, I never knew you!"

HAVE FAITH.

T3

Last nights Bible Study went really well, and I felt as though God put me there for a specific reason.  I know that I am a very blunt, opinionated, and loud person; I don't need to be told.  However, I do know that I can be very offensive and sometimes talk too much.  God has really laid it on my heart to T3 AKA, Tame The Tongue.  God says some really strong words in the Bible about taming your tongue and how it is one of the most crucial parts of your body:

"When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal.  Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go.  Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts.  Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.  The tongue is also a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body.  It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell." -James 3:3-6

Clearly stated above, God wants us to watch what we say.  What may not seem hurtful or judgmental to you may in fact be very hurtful and judgmental to someone else.  As everyone knows and can obviously figured out, our world is WAY different from how it used to be when the Bible was written; yet, we still use every concept of the Bible to this day.  Even though there is nothing in the Bible about lashing out on Facebook, Twitter, Blogger, etc. it all still means the same thing.  The internet has become to way to communicate, but unlike a conversation between to people, almost everything on here is for the world to see and the world to judge.  We "Christians" tend to be the worst at saying hurtful things and being judgmental of others before we even know anything about the person or issue, and that is the main thing that affects our mission.  We are supposed to be different, but different in a way that makes people say, "I want to be just like that".  I know plenty of fellow Christians that fall short of this, and make people believe they are a certain way and then turn around and do un-Christian-like things; and I am one of them sometimes.


So, God is really laying on my heart to watch what I say.  I tend to be more blunt and honest with the people I love, and I usually hurt their feelings without meaning to, and I'm going to change that.  There are some people that I feel as though need to be told about themselves, but in all honestly that is not my place to do, it's God's.  God will handle them one day!  It may take a few days or even a few years but He knows how to deal with it, and we shouldn't be the ones stepping in His way.


Lastly, you should know that when you sin against God you're not only hurting yourself, but you're hurting people around you.  When you proclaim that you are a Christian and that you live for God, there are things that you need to watch yourself on because lost people are watching you!  They don't know what "living a Godly life" means, so they watch you to find out.  This includes taming your tongue and watching what you say to and about others.  Gossip is an ugly thing and it's an ugly trait to have, and people don't like it.  But most importantly God doesn't like it.  He loves everyone in this world just as equal as yourself, so there is no reason to undermine another person.


I know I'm not the only person out there that has a problem with T3, but my hope is that if you're reading this and you have the same problem that maybe God is speaking to you as well.  Listen to what He has to say, and be obedient to Him because that is what we are put on this Earth to do.

Not So Happy.

In my life it seems that when everything is going pretty good, something decided to come along and ruin it.  I know it's the Devil and sometimes I even wonder if it's God giving me some strife because of some of my sin.  I have been trying SO hard to live the way He wants me to, but I'm not going to lie, it's SO hard.  Something happened yesterday that was a sin, and I cried because I have been doing so good! It was almost as if I took 1 step forward and 2 steps back :(  THEN TODAY!


UGH.  It started out pretty good, just trying to get some things done around the house before Dyllan leaves for Beach Retreat tomorrow. THEN a got a ball dropped on me.  It didn't necessarily happen to me, but it happened to someone that means everything to me; and I am pretty ANGRY.


This is how I currently feel:

• LIVID
• ANGRY
• PISSED (I don't consider this a "bad word" btw, lol)
• UPSET
• NOT UNDERSTANDING
• AND ALL THE NEGATIVE FEELINGS ABOVE

Being a college student like pretty much everyone I know, we go through plenty of stress.  College is very pricey and after your first year in college you of course want to live off campus in an apartment with your friends!  So, that's what I'm doing.  However, the stress of money is at a very high level and it makes me angry.  I'm angry because when we were in high school all the teachers used to say that there was no reason anyone shouldn't be able to go to college because of all the scholarships, financial aid, grants, etc.  However, what they didn't say is that it is nearly impossible to get any of those if your parents make a certain amount of income.  I'm NOT blaming them, but I do think it is absolutely ridiculous because I am one of those students.  My parents claim me so everything goes by their income.  Their income shows that they should be able to put me through everything in college (tuition, books, rent, meal plan, etc.) and that's not really the case.  

Pretty much all of my friends get financial aid from the state, and honestly they get so much that they're able to go and buy cars, boob jobs, etc.  IT'S NOT FAIR. I know, I know, life isn't fair but ripping the state off is ridiculous.  There are kids out there that need it more than some of the kids getting it.  I get Bright Futures, which I am thankful for because it does help A LOT, BUT some financial aid would help out.  I know there is really nothing I can do about this, and that's why I have a blog so I can vent.  

This is only a minor part of my anger though.  Some people are really ignorant and that just makes me want to slap them.  I know that's not the Christian way to act, so I try to bite my tongue and pray about it, but sometimes it all just comes out.  Some parents take their children for granted, and no I'm not talking about my parents.  I don't understand how you can allow one child to do and get everything he wants and then treat the other like a total piece of trash.  Unlike the other, he is trying to earn a doctorate and do something with his life! UGH, I could seriously keep going! 

HOWEVER. . .

There is a power and a man that is way higher and much more powerful than our state and everyone in it; GOD.  This is what I will be praying about because he is the only one that can do something about it.  He is the only one that truly understands how people are even when almost everyone puts on a show for different people.  So, ending this and if your are reading, I want you to pray for me and the person unnamed, we would REALLY appreciate it.

Thanks loves<3

How Can You Not?

Last night I was watching TV with my family and a pretty amazing story was on the show, "48 HOUR MYSTERY".  It was about a ex-marine, now serial killer, who had tortured and killed eight innocent woman; most were prostitutes.  However, one girl that he abducted and tortured got away, and her is a glimpse of her story.


I'm not positive as to how old she was but, she was in her early twenties.  She depended on the bus to take her to and from work everyday.  One morning the bus stopped to fill up on gas, and she went inside the convenient store to take a look when the bus left her.  It was really early in the morning, and now she had no way to get to work.  She sat at the bus stop knowing that she wouldn't be able to catch another bus when an innocent looking man pulled up and asked if she needed a ride.  She said that she had no feeling of fear or no odd feeling that something wasn't right; so she got in and he took her to work.


When her day at work was over, she was shocked to see the man waiting on her to leave.  He again offers he a ride home, and she gets in.  However, this time is nothing like that first.  She noticed that the man became very angry and was becoming very demanding and it was only going to get worse.  He pulled a gun out and put it to her head threatening her life.  He then tied her hands together with twine, and cut her shorts and underwear off so she was naked from the waist down.  He then tried to rape her, but couldn't so he made her perform oral sex.  She kept begging him to just kill her, but he wasn't going to make it so easy.


He then decided to put her in the trunk of his car, and drive.  In the pitch black with her hands tied she does the only thing she can think to do, pray.  She prayed for God to help her escape, or to just take her out of her misery and kill her.  After she said that prayer she said a strength came over her and she broke the twine from her wrists!  She started feeling around for a way out and was pulling carpet and wire in the process.  She then found a hatch and clicked the trunk open!!  She could escape.


Once the trunk was open the man realized and pulled over.  She closed the trunk back and could feel him pulling on it to make sure it was closed; he got back in the car.  Once he was in the car she popped the trunk and ran for her life!  He got out and started running after her with a machete, and she just ran faster.  Still naked from the waist down she saw a truck coming her way.  She flagged them down and two marines saved her life; the man was gone.


She woman ended up living in mental institution for almost 4 years, in fear for her life.  She then had a daughter and tried to move on with her life.  The man was later captured and he admitted to everything he had done.


This story alone should make someone believe in God.  The prayer she said and giving her life up to him on that day saved her life.  Nothing is greater than God and no MAN will ever be greater than him.  Her surviving not only saved her life, but she saved the lives of many others.  He killed many woman, but he could have killed many more.


There is no life without the man that created you.  He loves you more than anyone ever will on this planet!  And His love will never fail you...EVER!  

The Triple P!

"Prostitutes, Protection, & Promises" 

What an odd combination of three "P" words, and the even crazier thing is they all three came from my Bible, in Joshua Chapter 2. This chapter may not be as lengthy and you may not think that it says a lot, but just think again. Just because I chapter isn't long, doesn't mean there isn't something good!

Joshua Chapter 2 is a VERY encouraging chapter for our generation. It starts out talking about the Israelites sending two men to "spy" on the promise land.  Well, when they arrive they stay in Rahab's house, whom is also a prostitute.  The King hears of their arrival and shows up at Rahab's house asking where they are.  She lies and says that they have already left, saving them from being arrested and most likely killed.  Since Rahab so kindly protected the two men, she wanted something in return; safety.  And that is why you have the "Triple P"!!  


This chapter makes you realize that God will speak through anyone!  To keep His followers safe He will do anything He has to to keep His promises.  Rahab was a whore!  Of all people you would think that there would be no way that God would seek her and use her for His words and for His peoples' protection!  The oath she made with the two Israelite men was to keep her family safe when they invaded the promise land.  To do this she put a scarlet rope outside of her window and had her family inside so they would survive.


After reading this a question is asked, "How can Rahab's testimony be used as encouragement for our generation?"  And the answer is simple:  a woman was a prostitute and God used her in two BIG ways, and from that she became a whole new person.  God doesn't care what you have done or about the person you once were, what He cares about is the second you ask Him to be your Lord and Savior and you follow in the Christian path; baptism, etc.  He wipes your slate clean and He doesn't remember all the sinful things you did before you had Him.  He is the ONLY person you will ever find that will do that for you.  Humans unfortunately don't carry that capability, we remember EVERYTHING!


So, you may have to read this chapter many times before you see everything being done but it definitely shows what God can do and that He will use anyone!!  <3


***I will have vacation pictures up soon!! We had a BLAST and Matt really enjoyed Blizzard Beach :)***

I'm Backkkk & Blessedddd!

I know, I know, it's been AWHILE, BUT I have been SO busy these past few days! Between school, being home, and just time flying by I never got a chance to blog about what was going on :( Sad Day. Anyways, I would like to start off saying that Chemistry will be the death of me.  I know it's smart and pretty much common sense to get Chem 1 & 2 done in ONE summer so you no longer have to deal with it, but it is awful.  I am so burnt out, and just knowing I start Fall at the end of August does not make me feel any better!  However, the fact that I will be OUT of Okeechobee once again come August 19th is a blessing in itself.  I cannot wait to start a new journey in Orlando; even though honestly I would rather be doing it in Tuscaloosa, AL! RTR<3


God is really blessing me with so many things, and most importantly understanding.  I haven't been in my Bible everyday like I should, but I am trying to get better.  It's not only in my Bible that I'm learning new things, it's from the outside.  God has truly blessed me with amazing and honest people to run to when I need help or when I'm questioning something.  He spoke to me the other night about not going out, and I listened, and it turned out for the best.  I can honestly say that I have never been one of those people to "hear" God when he is speaking.  He would literally have to run me into a brick wall, lol, but it's definitely becoming more clearer when He wants my attention, and I think it's because of my hunger for Him.  I am so intrigued in learning more and wanting to know what He truly wants from me.


I have been so happy and so open to understanding lately and I think that is me growing as a Christian.  The things I see everyday that were just "there" I have a new impact on.  It has been GORGEOUS these past few days here in Okeechobee, and it takes a gorgeous God to make things like that!


All in all, I feel truly blessed and my hunger is continuing to grow.


*I leave for vacation to Orlando tomorrow, but I'm still going to try to keep you guys updated on what's going on! I mean, it's Matt's first "vacation", so I'm going to have some interesting things to tell you*

Tough Girl!

I haven't blogged in the past two days, and it was for a reason; I assure you.  God was telling me a lot of different things and has opened my eyes to A LOT of things the past two days. At first I didn't see it as anything but as I read my Bible and actually had some peace and quiet I realized so much; this has never happened to me before!

FIRST:  God wants me to find my place with Him.  It does matter to Him what I believe and what I interpret from His word; I mean obviously that's what the Bible is here for!  I learn new things everyday, but these past two and today are just overwhelming!!  Matt & I always relate something to what God's word says now.  Not only that but it's not like we're even discussing a Biblical matter, we're just talking!! And I LOVE it!

SECOND:  I have been invited "out" all this week, and I haven't felt the need to go at all.  Now this one isn't that much important because I rarely go out anyway, but usually when the same person has asked me 3 to 4 times within 1 week, I give in; but I haven't.  Something keeps telling me that's not where I need to be even though that's where my friends are.  And I don't want anyone reading to take that the wrong way, because I love my friends and I support them in most of the things that they do, but sometimes I have to be a "big girl" and go with what I'm being told.

THIRD:  I'm going to try to say this in the NICEST way possible, but God created a blunt girl right here and I don't know if I can.  I have recently encountered the ignorance of people pretty much on a daily basis.  It started last week, and what would you know it all had to do with God and what He says in His word.  People will just make up stuff or listen and believe anything anyone tells them!  It's completely insane!  And for those, I will pray for.

FOURTH:  This fourth one I don't feel comfortable sharing at the moment even though I have everything that God says about it, but I don't want to offend anyone.  So, that's between God and I.  But He has shown me MULTIPLE times different things about it.

FIFTH:  I need to pray about somethings that not necessarily concern me, but interest me about my new Bible study I attend.  Don't get me wrong I LOVE it, but I often question motives and I know that's not my place, but it has been on my heart lately.

I think I'm done, but as I said I have had SO MUCH things from God in two days!  I got emotional about something tonight that I usually wouldn't; I even cried! (I NEVER CRY!)  But I think that was good for me.  

I will back tomorrow.  God Bless <3

Teeny Tiny

I met someone perfect today.

Not only perfect, but amazing.

Not only perfect and amazing, but beautiful.

And lastly not only someone perfect, amazing, and beautiful, but completely innocent.

He goes by the name of Levi Scott Waugh, and he's truly a blessing from God.

Yes, maybe he wasn't brought into this world the "traditional" way, but God has a plan for everyone and he is going to have the BEST parents.

He's approximately 6lbs 6oz and 18inches long. 

He looks just like his Daddy.

His blue eyes are beautiful and absolutely perfect!

He's my little "nephew" and I can't wait to spoil him rotten!

He may even be in my wedding someday!! ;)

I'm not only Kayla Stokes, but I am now, "Aunt Kayla" <3

Confusion.

Matt & I had a religious talk last night, and like all these talks I get really emotional.  I try to listen to his side as well as what God is trying to tell me.  I have been studying my Bible this morning, and some things are becoming clear but it's still hard for me to just change my beliefs. I have been taught for the last 19 years in a Baptist church, and it's definitely hard to hear someone telling you that you're wrong and that's not what the Bible/God said.  It didn't turn into an argument but it did make me pray about and just pray that I find the right answers.


As of this morning, I feel like I'm getting somewhere; in some places.  Matt believes that there should be no instruments during worship, and I beg to differ.  1 Chronicles 13:8 states, "David and all the Israelites were celebrating with all their might before God, with songs and with harps, lyres, tambourines, cymbals and trumpets". Psalms 92:1-3 also states, "It is good to praise the Lord and make music to your name, O Most High, to proclaim your love in the morning and your faithfulness at night, to the music of the ten-stringed lyre and the melody of the harp".  Although the Bible clearly states that people worshiped with instruments, it also has places where they just worshiped with voice.  However, this is minor compared to other things like, salvation, baptism, Lord's Supper, etc.  


I have been taught that there is no way to lose your salvation, and I have been a firm believer in that.  But, it seems as though I have missed a few places when God is speaking about salvation.  I'm not going to get into all of that yet because I haven't done enough studying.


I just pray, and for whoever is reading this I hope you pray, that this doesn't become a religious battle; that's not what I want.  God brings people in your life for many different reason and He brought Matt into my life for way more than one.  He brought him to me to show me what love is, for me to show him what love is, and for us to teach each other things.  My prayer is that after all of this, I figure out where I am supposed to be with God and I figure out what TRUTH is; and that's what God would want me to do in the first place.

Making Different Denominations Work!

For the past week God has really laid on my heart quite a few things; too many to put in one blog. But for tonight I am just going to talk about one of them.  He had laid on my heart that dating someone that doesn't believe some of the things you do, will cause problems in a relationship.  I thank Him everyday for Matt and I feel so blessed to finally be with someone who loves me for me and understands what I stand for.  For those of you who may not know, Matt and I are two different denominations.  I don't like labeling myself as "Baptist" or anything like that because I just believe that I'm a Christian.  However, I attend First Baptist Church and he attends the Church of Christ Church right by SeaCoast National Bank.  Church of Christ isn't much different than Baptist churches, but there are some things that they believe in that we Baptist don't really consider a "big deal".  For instance, we Baptist people get down in church, and like to express worship through musical instruments; Church of Christ do not believe in that.  They believe that worship should be strictly hymns and no music just your voice.  That is one of the minor things, but they do get bigger.


Growing up I was always taught that you didn't have to be baptized in the spirit to be saved.  It took me to the age of 18 that that isn't so true.  In John chapter 3 verse 5 Jesus says, "I tell you the truth, no one can enter he kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit.  Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the spirit gives birth to the spirit".  To be honest, it took me quite awhile to make myself learn that this is how it is and that this is the Truth.  My Bible speaks nothing but the truth and it was my job to believe it.  But declaring that Jesus is my Lord and Savior when I was 7 and not being baptized until May 25, 2008 at 16 years old  it was hard for me to grasp that I wasn't "saved".  To this day I still struggle with this because growing up I knew so much and at one point I got to where I knew God was telling me to do certain things.  I not only have Matt to thank for this realization, because he is the one who showed me and talked to me, but I have God to thank for that.  Honestly, I probably would have never thought different if Matt wasn't in my life and teaching me.


Matt & I still have a little while to go when decided about religion and all of that, but it is something that is going to have to be done.  I plan on spending the rest of my life with him and we can't cross that bridge until we come to a Spiritual agreement.  I pray that God will offer this to us, because it is very important to both of us.  I love him for everything he is, but I love him even more for the person that God has made him.  Does he make mistakes?  Almost everyday.  Does he sin?  All the time.  But he knows who his Lord and Savior is and he knows that God will never leave his side.


For whoever is reading this, I encourage you to pray for us.  We love prayer and we both know it works! <3

Summer Looks Like A Bummer. . .

As everyone knows it's July, but for me that means the beginning of summer 2 classes.  I am entering my third week of it and I'm way passed annoyed, tired, and just OVER school; and I start Fall in August.  I know that taking summer courses is usually the way to go to get things done, but it really is not fun.  So, as of right now I am never taking both summer courses again!  It makes you have NO life or summer.


Not only are summer classes bothering me, but the fact that there is NOTHING to do in this town drives me CRAZY!  I have no money and I can't go out of town everyday to do something fun.  This town needs to invest in something to do for us teenagers instead of new police cars every year, I'm just sayin.


So, pretty much my summer is becoming a bummer, but I am hoping for the best.  It's not over yet, and hopefully the best has yet to come! :)

"It's not about you, but He is for you"

I had a Bible study tonight with Sam Hord and quite a few other girls.  This Bible study is for "college girls" and whoever may be reading this I encourage you to come! We are studying the book of Joshua and how what he went through applies to our life.  For those of you who may not know, the Bible has something for everyone.  It tells you how to take on every aspect in your life, and that's just what this Bible study is teaching.  We call it "Transitions" because when you graduate high school and begin college your world will change.  You are no longer the kid who lives at home and has your Mommy and Daddy do everything for you, you are completely on your own to make your own decisions, your own mistakes, and most importantly LEARN from it all!


The quote, "It's not about you, but He is for you" may be hard to understand if you only read it once.  I think I had to read it 5+ times to realize what it was supposed to be telling me; but I did figure it out.  This life that we're living isn't all about us and what we want, it's about the person who thought of us before our own parents did; God.  It may not be about us, but He will never leave our side with everything we do on this Earth; as long as you are a believer.  He will be there no matter what and He wants the best for us, and He wants to show us how to get to that place.  


What this quote means to me is that I will never need to worry about anything.  He has my back and always will.  When my walls come crashing down and I think I have no one left, I know He will be there!  He's my number one and my life should be revolved around Him.  Am I perfect in living for Him? NO.  Is it easy living for Him? NO.  I go through different obstacle everyday, and new sin comes up in my life everyday.  There is nothing I can do about it but stay close to God, and be on His path.  His path is the ONLY way and I HAVE to stay on the "straight and narrow" path.

I encourage all of you who are reading to come on Thursday nights at 6:30 in the old Marble Slab building.  There is FOOD & most importantly there is learning about our God.

PINK Bible - only the BEST ;)

Oh, Today. . .

Today, July 6, 2011, was a day filled of

• Getting Ready - doing my make-up only to find out that I have no liquid eyeliner left, so I had to use the pencil! UGH. So, my make-up SUCKED!
• Chemistry - studying for almost 4 hours to not even get an "A" -_-
• Early Dinner at Beef's with Matthew - Honey BBQ Boneless Wings basket with their AMAZING mashed potatoes and gravy!)
• LAB - got an "A" on tonights!
• The Gym - seeing as that I haven't worked out or even stepped foot in a gym since December, I will probably be a walking dead person tomorrow.
• Bed - writing you guys and enjoying my bed, and about to have a "midnight snack" of some sort. . .

No pictures today, just a little bit of misery and tiredness! TOMORROW will be MUCH better ;)

*I did have something good/awesome happen! I found out that my bestie, Morgan Nicole Mashburn, will be in Orlando this month and I will FINALLY get to see her! It's been WAYYYY too long! 

Hello Blogger

I am REALLY new to all of this, but it looks fun and a great way to keep up with everything I am going through with my life. So, hello.