I know it has been awhile since I have last posted, and I am very aware that I am not keeping my word as to blogging everyday. It's just that life seems to get in, and I stay really busy. These aren't excuses, just explanations. However, since August 19th many things have been going on and my brain is going crazy! First of all I got a job at Red Lobster, and I love it! I really cannot complain about it at all! Secondly, I started my Sophomore year of college, and that too is going well. I love all my classes and my professors are great; especially my Stats and Biology prof. Anywho, it hasn't been all fun and games though; I am working through a lot of things.
I haven't given into the "college girl lifestyle" that most people I know how given into, and I don't plan on it. I still stay strong to my beliefs and do what I feel is right. I love college and don't get me wrong, I love to have a good time, but "good times" don't always need to involve alcohol and chaos. Matt and I are still doing really well, but I am trying to work through some things about us with myself. I know I shouldn't keep certain things about our relationship just to myself, but it will come out when I feel the need to tell him.
The Devil has really been on me this past weekend (Labor Day) and throughout this week. Granted, he's not on me about school, but he is on me about what I want in life, and he's messing with my feelings. I had an amazing weekend in Okeechobee this past Labor Day weekend and he's definitely using that against me. I know the simple thing to do is just pray about, but I feel like I can't talk to God about this right now because I know what His answer is going to be. I haven't been in His word, I haven't continuously been in church like I should, and I sin every day like everyone else. Even though these are things I know everyone struggles with, I'm just trying to work through them.
As you read and as I type I am working through my head what I am going to say to Him tonight, and what I want to be done about all the confusion I am currently going through. Since I have graduated high school the people I cared about the most and had so much time and feelings invested in have just left. God is showing me a lot about life and a lot about my discipline and what I can handle; I just don't know how to go about this one.
So, if you're reading this, send up a prayer for me tonight. I love when people pray for me, and I don't take the "I'll pray for you" offensively. I need prayer and I accept that! Our God is such a powerful God that I know He already knows what is going to happen, and that I just need to have faith in Him; but sometimes it just seems so hard, and the Devil doesn't make it any better!
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